Prediction: Chiefs > Niners 31-24
Outcome: Chiefs > Niners 25-22 in overtime
What I learned in the Super Bowl…
– This Super Bowl will go down as a top ten all-timer, maybe even top five. You had Brock Purdy, Christian McCaffrey, and Jauan Jennings all proving they can hang in the big game when it matters. You had both defenses making incredible stops throughout the first half. You had the miracle maker performing two clutch drives: one to help the Chiefs get into overtime, and one to get Kansas City their fourth Lombardi trophy. People will remember this one for a long time, regardless of who their team is.
Kansas City really spent nearly 5 decades with only one ring, and in the span of five seasons, are now only behind Dallas, San Francisco, Pittsburgh, and New England.
– For San Francisco, this one has to hurt harder than their loss to KC four years ago. The 49ers really had the perfect team going into this game; their only flaw was that they had to play the Chiefs. This is probably how Charles Barkley, Shawn Kemp, and John Stockton felt when they had to play Michael Jordan in the NBA finals; they were great athletes that just happened to play an invincible team led by an even more invincible leader.
I’ll say it like this though: San Francisco has every reason to get back here next season. They’ve now appeared in three straight NFC title games (one with Jimmy Garoppolo at that) and they were one drive away from winning their sixth ring. Seriously, just manage to keep the same team, or as much as you can from it, and run the table next year.
– The flaws that San Francisco had in this game were minimal. Of course there was the missed PAT and McCaffrey’s fumble. There was also the lack of defense in Kansas City’s game-winning drive, as Mahomes knew they were tired (and possibly clueless about how the new overtime rules work) and carved them up for the win.
– Which reminds me, here was the chain of events since January 2019…
1) Kansas City loses AFC title game in overtime, with Mahomes not getting a possession
2) Idea of both teams getting a single possession becomes discussed
3) Idea gets rejected
4) Kansas City wins AFC Divisional Round game in overtime, with Josh Allen not getting a possession
5) Idea of both teams getting a single possession once again becomes discussed
6) Idea gets approved
7) Kansas City wins first overtime game under the new rule anyway
– On another note, there’s a very bitter irony about Broncos legend John Elway handing the Lombardi trophy to the Kansas City Chiefs, who passed the Broncos in Super Bowl wins this season. There’s even more irony that all this happened in the Raiders’ stadium in Las Vegas. Finally, in this statement, the Chargers are nowhere to be found in this equation, just like in real life.
Such is the story of the AFC West division.
– With the win this year, Patrick Mahomes is now in a deeper class of his own, becoming the fifth quarterback in history with at least three rings*.
(* – As a starting quarterback; sorry, Steve Young and Earl Morall.)
The other four? Tom Brady, Joe Montana, Terry Bradshaw, and Troy Aikman. Mahomes is already better than Aikman and Bradshaw, and he might be better than Joe as well. Brady is not safe anymore.
– History of Super Bowl MVPs as picked by me in these writeups:
Super Bowl XLVI: Eli Manning
Super Bowl XLVII: Jacoby Jones
Super Bowl XLVIII: Malcolm Smith
Super Bowl XLIX: Malcolm Butler
Super Bowl 50: Von Miller
Super Bowl LI: Tom Brady
Super Bowl LII: Nick Foles
Super Bowl LIII: Sony Michel
Super Bowl LIV: Damien Williams
Super Bowl LV: Tom Brady
Super Bowl LVI: Aaron Donald
Super Bowl LVII: Patrick Mahomes
Super Bowl LVIII: Patrick Mahomes goes back to back here as well. Honorable mention to Travis Kelce after he opened it up in the second half.
– History of Super Bowl Duds since I started writing these:
Super Bowl XLVI: Bill Belichick for throwing a challenge flag right in front of a legit Mario Manningham catch and costing New England a timeout.
Super Bowl XLVII: The officials who didn’t call defensive pass interference on Jimmy Smith in the end zone, effectively giving Baltimore the win.
Super Bowl XLVIII: Literally everyone that wore a Broncos jersey in this game.
Super Bowl XLIX: Pete Carroll. We all know why, especially Marshawn Lynch.
Super Bowl 50: Cam Newton. This one still hurts 😦
Super Bowl LI: Kyle Shanahan for making calls that eventually led to a 25-point lead being blown
Super Bowl LII: Cris Collinsworth for not knowing how football moves work
Super Bowl LIII: Brandon Cooks for missing not one, but two wide open touchdown passes
Super Bowl LIV: Kyle Shanahan for making calls that eventually led to a 10-point lead being blown
Super Bowl LV: The entire Chiefs offensive line for causing Patrick Mahomes to run for 481 yards that night, except it was left and right, not up and down the field
Super Bowl LVI: Eli Apple for getting burned repeatedly by Cooper Kupp and other Rams players
Super Bowl LVII: Jonathan Gannon, the Eagles defensive coordinator
Super Bowl LVIII Dud: Kyle Shanahan has now made calls for teams that have led by a combined 45 points in the Super Bowl and lost every single time. This, along with his team not knowing the new overtime rules, nets him a record-setting third Super Bowl Dud. Dishonorable mention to Jake Moody for the missed extra point that would eventually butterfly effect the Chiefs getting into overtime and winning the game.
– Is it just me, or have Super Bowl commercials gotten worse over the years? We’ve advanced so far over the past couple decades that ever since we got a demographic that’s solely there to watch the Super Bowl only for the commercials, numerous companies are basically trying too hard and are in our faces more than usual.
Either that or I’m just getting older, who knows?
– More importantly, however, the new Deadpool film is a day one watch.
– Based on his numbers and success, Lamar Jackson was a good call for MVP, even if I felt McCaffrey should have won it. CMC getting Offensive Player of the Year was a nice touch, however, and well-deserved.
– Myles Garrett should not have won Defensive Player of the Year when there was a perfectly good TJ Watt standing there with numbers better than Garrett all season. The Steelers do not make the playoffs if Watt doesn’t play.
– Houston got both the Offensive and Defensive Rookie of the Year awards. Hopefully the team continues to ascend next year, unlike the last team who won both awards last season (the Jets, for those who forgot).
– My pick for Coach of the Year was DeMeco Ryans, but Stefanski getting the Browns to the playoffs without Chubb and starting five quarterbacks is a monumental achievement in itself, so the award was still well-deserved.
– Finally, Joe Flacco had Comeback Player of the Year wrapped up by December. The man came off the couch and played his heart out, and you couldn’t have asked for anything better than that.
– You knew it was coming…
Halftime Shows ever since I started watching them…
1) Prince (41)
2) U2 (36)
3) Bruce Springsteen (43)
4) Paul McCartney (39)
5) Shakira and Jennifer Lopez (54)
6) Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Eminem, Mary J. Blige, Kendrick Lamar, and 50 Cent (56)
7) Lady Gaga (51)
8) Beyonce and two vocalists not named Beyonce (47)
9) Usher, Alicia Keys, Lil Jon, Ludacris, and will.I.am (58)
10) The Weeknd (55)
11) Tom Petty (42)
12) Bruno Mars and Red Hot Chili Peppers (48)
13) Aerosmith, N’SYNC, Britney Spears, Mary J. Blige, and Nelly (35)
14) The Who (44)
—–EVERYTHING BELOW WAS NOT GOOD—–
15) Coldplay, Bruno Mars, and Beyonce (50)
16) Katy Perry, Missy Elliott, and Lenny Kravitz (49)
17) Rihanna (57)
18) Justin Timberlake and hologram Prince (52)
19) Sting, Shania Twain, and No Doubt (37)
20) The Rolling Stones (40)
21) Justin Timberlake, Janet Jackson, Nelly, Diddy, and Kid Rock (38)
22) Adam Levine and friends, half of Outkast, Travis Scott, and false advertising of Sweet Victory (53)
23) The Black Eyed Peas, Slash, and Usher (45)
24) Madonna, LMFAO, Nicki Minaj, M.I.A., and Cee-Lo Green (46)
My only gripe with Usher’s show was the songs seemed shorter than they already were by Super Bowl Halftime show standards. I get that the objective is to put as many hits as possible in a short time span, but it seemed even more excessive than usual this time around. With that being said, we got Usher on rollerskates, we got Alicia Keys still looking incredible nearly two decades after her prime, and we got the reunion among Usher, Lil Jon, and Ludacris that everyone hoped would happen. On top of that, because why not, will.I.am shows up so that he can pretend his first halftime show appearance never happened. Or something.
Finally, above all else, Usher still got the sauce at 45. Join us next season when they announce another Top 40 musician for halftime and I continue to laugh at Facebook comments asking “WhErE’s MeTaLLiCa?”
Five Hot Takes for Next Season (I will go back to this at the end of Super Bowl LIX and see how I did!)
1) Carolina finishes ahead of Atlanta in the NFC South for third place
2) The Las Vegas Raiders make the playoffs under head coach Antonio Pierce
3) Cincinnati returns to the top of the AFC North
4) Aaron Rodgers plays the entire year and still doesn’t get the Jets to the playoffs
5) San Francisco beats Kansas City in Super Bowl LIX
So what did I learn this season?
– I learned from my dad that my niece is a Chiefs fan. I had to correct him and say my niece is a Swiftie. However, if Taylor Swift got my niece into watching football, much like she did countless others, then it was a small victory.
It was also pretty humorous seeing people get uptight about seeing Swift on their televisions for 10 seconds a game. Look, if you didn’t want to see Swift on your television, maybe you should have talked her into dating someone on the Panthers, because they’re not getting a prime time game outside Amazon for at least five more years.
– Dan Campbell is the real deal in Detroit, as is Jared Goff. The Lions are gonna be good once again next season, and if I have to see a cat team succeed since the Panthers won’t do it, might as well be these guys.
– It was extremely short-lived, but the two weeks that Joshua Dobbs balled all over the Falcons and Saints might have legit been my favorite two weeks of the season. Hats off to the Passtronaut.
– Sometimes you have to wear enemy colors and walk into their territory to finally attend a football game. Even better, I attended it at my job’s expense and got to watch Dobbs ball on the Falcons.
– The Panthers are doomed in what has basically become Part 9 of their rebuilding era. Their coach has revived the careers of Geno Smith and Baker Mayfield, but he has his hands full next season.
– Hats off to Eddy Pinero; if it wasn’t for him, the Panthers would be 0-17.
– CJ Stroud was the right QB pick, and Houston has a bright future ahead of them.
– The Cowboys still can’t win when it matters in January
– Despite the draft pick placement, Brock Purdy is definitely anything but irrelevant
– Daniel Jones was in fact overpaid
– The Chargers are really about to waste the careers of not one, not two, but three top tier quarterbacks; all of which are either already in the Hall of Fame or has potential to be in the Hall of Fame. They’re the Detroit Lions of the AFC.
– I was 15 the last time New England played this badly, and if anything was great about this season, seeing the Patriots in last place in the AFC was quite the delight.
– Baltimore did everything right all the way up to the AFC title game and then made their only mistake by sacrificing the run game.
– The Dolphins buckle in cold weather (except in Massachusetts and New Jersey)
– The Jets had to use Zach Wilson, Trevor Siemian, and Tim Boyle and somehow finished 7-10. That defense did wonders for them, which proves that Zach Wilson is Great Value Trent Dilfer.
– It took a year of soul searching, but Baker finally found his home in Florida. The South will once again be between New Orleans and Tampa Bay next season, to the surprise of no one.
– The Bills are still cursed. Join us next season when they somehow manage to fumble a kneel down and Kansas City runs it back for the game-winning touchdown in the AFC title game.
– The Broncos are still a mess. Join us next season when Jarrett Stidham proves that Sean Taylor was the problem, not Russell Wilson.
The most important thing I learned this season?
Like it or not, Tom Brady’s days on top are numbered. Patrick Mahomes is coming for the crown and nothing will stop him.
Finally, with the season over, here’s the updated list of cities with championships over the last ten seasons across all four major American sports!
San Francisco – 5 (Warriors x4, Giants x1)
Los Angeles – 4 (Kings, Dodgers, Lakers, Rams)
Kansas City – 4 (Chiefs x3, Royals x1)
Boston – 4 (Patriots x3, Red Sox x1)
Tampa Bay – 3 (Lightning x2, Buccaneers x1)
Denver – 3 (Broncos, Avalanche, Nuggets)
Pittsburgh – 2 (Penguins x2)
Washington D.C. – 2 (Capitols, Nationals)
Chicago – 2 (Blackhawks, Cubs)
Houston – 2 (Astros x2)
One and done – San Antonio, Cleveland, Toronto, Milwaukee, St. Louis, Las Vegas, Philadelphia, Atlanta, Dallas (kinda. It’s the Rangers, but they play in Arlington, so there you go)
With San Francisco, Boston, and LA all winning championships in their respective 2014 seasons, Kansas City is one step closer to becoming the new title town. It might be a little taxing to listen to Chiefs fans gloat for another 7 months, but this is nothing new after decades of Niners, Cowboys, Steelers, and Patriot fans doing the same. The bandwagons are now located in the midwest, something we never saw coming.
“But Hickman, wouldn’t you do the same if the Panthers started winning Super Bowls?”
Please, they can’t even get back-to-back seasons with a winning record. Super Bowls are the least of Charlotte’s concern.
As always, it’s an absolute pleasure to write about football as I cap off my thirteenth year doing so. Be good to yourselves and to each other. See you next season!
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